Sacredness Becomes Obvious

I have completely lost patience with anyone telling me how to Be.

I am not young anymore. I do not look up to anyone. Nor am I living the illusion of superiority. I am looking across to everyone and everything.

This existence that we’re swimming in – I don’t begin to understand it. I won’t pretend. I refuse to pretend wisdom. I have gone deep enough into myself to know mystery. And so, when others claim sureness, I find myself quite skeptical.

I don’t care what the tradition is; I find myself quite skeptical.

I begin to understand the point of consciousness that we are calling Me. I gaze at myself and there is recognition, there is some reality in here somewhere, there is something I begin to understand.

And I notice. In this exact moment, through the magic of my ears and brain, through the magic of air and wings, I hear the cicadas’ whirr. It is familiar and beloved, and fresh. I don’t understand it, and it whirrs through me, electric in my cells. My heart samples its beat.

I am not going to tell you how to hear cicadas. I am not going to tell you how to hear me, how to hear yourself, how to hear your own heart’s beat.

If I let you Be, I can find full joy in you. Your sacredness becomes obvious, and there is nothing that either of us needs to prove. I have completely lost patience with any aspect of me wanting to tell you how to Be.

You and I – if we can sit here noticing, then maybe something has started between us.

I don’t want to take away any parts of you. And I am done letting anyone take away parts of me. When I pay attention, I notice that my love is indiscriminate. I love you, and I love myself, and I love the cicadas, and I love the air.

That is simply how it is. Your liking it or disliking it, my liking it or disliking it – changes nothing. I have completely lost patience with anyone telling Be how to Be. Existence moves inside us and I am powerless to make it any less.

On Sparsity of Mind

We are so accustomed to accumulation. We live in houses full of objects that are supposed to take our discomforts away. We live in bodies full of junk and disarray. We exist in minds full of input and reactions, worries and desperate dramatic hope.

Life is not so bad. It is painful, inherently. It is challenging or why else would we be here? It is apparently the gravel upon which we hone our essence. It is essentially what it is meant to be – a school for soul(s), a way for the universe to learn and expand.

The universal mind seems to be sparse and expanding, and expanding in its sparsity. Our essential minds are sparse and expanding. My essential mind watches and listens. It does not clap or complain. It is not particularly wise – no more wise than any other being’s essential mind, and no less wise than the essence of the universe.

All around us in our human world, accumulation beckons. We should have and we should want. Marketers of all sorts push us toward desires that will line their pockets and fuel their own accumulation. Even much of what passes for spirituality turns out to be a means to someone’s gain, or a promise to teach us how to “get what we want.”

But what about the deeper want? What about the desire within, what about the desire of the great without? Our essential selves sit watching us struggle, aware that all we could ever have is here now. We have always been just our selves, complete in the universe, sparse and expanding, stamped with the essential desire to Be.

It is when we allow this sparsity of mind – in those moments between our suffering – that we begin to understand.

Peace and War Stand Looking At Each Other

There’s a part of me that secretly treasures every experience I’ve ever had, even the very difficult ones. This part feels like a renegade, an outlaw, because surely I’m supposed to judge. Surely, I’m supposed to call this good, this bad. That is what I have been taught.

But this part just notices. This part just revels in what is and all the ripples that occur when something occurs.

For many years this part was hidden to me, and when I found this part, it was like finding a limb that had gone numb from too much pressure.

Now, when I’m quiet, this part notices me and says, “There you are.” I notice her and say, “There you are.” She remembers that we dropped into embodiment to experience everything, not just the pleasantries. Now I remember her.

This is an awakening. One of the many, one of the long list that happen gradually as we breathe, as we breathe and be.

Do I treasure every time I thought life would break me down? Well, I treasure each moment when I found it hadn’t, each moment when I discovered that my essence is essentially unbreakable. And I treasure every facet of my being, all the parts that suffer, and this renegade who understands: truly each moment of life experience is clay in my willing hands.

Some people find peace in forgiveness, in compassion. For me, peace and war stand looking at each other, acceptance and outrage gaze lovingly across a very crowded room. In the tension between them, I am.